Resurrection Read online

  You already blew your chance. They’ll fire your ass on the spot for being late…

  “Not now,” I whisper with heated breath as I take my first couple steps into the office. I need this. We need this. My fridge consists of a few apples, a half drank carton of milk and a few eggs. With barely anything in my freezer and possibly even less in the cabinet, I need this now more than ever if I am going to get through this.

  With not enough to buy groceries, me and the kids have been living off whatever fast food chain is having a special. I know it’s not good, but I tell myself it is only temporary. Although, the truth is it won’t be temporary if I can’t get my shit together to make this job work. Thank God the daycare let me pay them two weeks from now, otherwise I would never have been able to start work. Although I owe them a full month then, which means my first check will barely make do for anything else.

  Told you. Eviction. You and your children will be out on the streets. Liam’s condition will only get worse, all because you don’t have what it takes. You never did.

  Tears prick my eyes. My body shakes. Seconds away from turning around and running out the door, I hear someone start to speak as he walks out from the back room.

  “Glenn, I need that story on my desk by noon, and not a minute later! Damn it, these coaches are all the same. Tell Hardin that if he doesn’t want to comment on how his player basically threw the championship game, and lost the series for the first time in 10 years, then we will print ‘Hardin gave no fucking comment,’ without the fuck!” He throws the papers at a slightly younger man I just now notice sitting at a cubicle when I cock my head to the side and glance a little harder to the right.

  No damn way! It can’t be!

  His eyes raise and meet mine. His hard look softens briefly. I notice he is just as taken back as me as he walks a few steps forward, not sure of what to say next. I clutch my purse to my side and hold my pens and papers close to my chest. His eyes glance to my hands and suddenly the fire returns, and I watch as his brow furrows before his green eyes meet my stare once more.

  “You’re late.” He grits out.

  Motioning to the front desk, I scurry around him and place my things down. I try and straighten my top but stop as I feel the heat of his body behind me and feel my sharp intake of breath as he reaches around my frame and clicks on my computer. His movements pause briefly as he cages me in against my desk before backing away. Then he moves quickly as I finally start to breathe again. Grabbing a stack of papers on a nearby shelf, he plops them down in front of me with a hard thud.

  “Sign and date all of the forms. Check your email and respond to any necessary ones. If someone comes in for a subscription, have them fill out this form. If it’s advertising, point them towards Dianna.” A red-haired middle-aged woman pokes her head around another cubicle and waves at me. She gives me a slight smile, but then stops when she catches the eye of our boss and quickly returns to her work. “When you’re done, come to my office so I can get you up to speed and so we can discuss the ‘expectations’ of your position here at the Times.”

  I swallow hard and know exactly what he meant by that last statement. “Yes, Sir.” I respond, thankful that he didn’t fire my ass on the spot.

  “Gatz.” He responds. “Justin Gatz. No Sir.”

  My eyes rise to meet his, and I nod. His expression changes. A look I can’t yet read crosses his face as he stares down at me. It’s a look that I know will keep me up nights as I remember the way his green eyes stared at me like they knew me, just like they did earlier this morning when by some miracle they succeeded in making me finally exhale for the first time in a long time.

  He walks away, and when he does, I can’t help but be in awe of him. His strong shoulders. His lean physique.

  When he came plowing into my house just shy of an hour ago, I was too thrown by fear to appreciate just how good looking of a man he really is. His dark brown hair is short, and the stubble on his face gives his features an edge. I see a tattoo peeking out of the bottom of one of his dress sleeves and find myself suddenly feeling the need to see more. I don’t even notice that I am peering around the top of my computer to get a closer look until his voice breaks me from my thoughts.

  “Do you need anything more, Mrs. Gables?” I look up to meet his eye and notice his lips tilt up in a smirk, catching onto where I was shamelessly staring.

  “It’s Ms. now, Mr. Gatz.” I respond coldly and see recognition flash across his face. “And no, thank you. I should be able to manage.”

  With a sad nod he returns to his office and I stare blankly at my screen. Clicking the mouse, the computer comes to life as I glance at the large stack of paperwork I need to fill out. But the voices are quiet as I realize suddenly that they’ve stopped, if only for a little while.

  Chapter 3

  Justin

  Her laughter floats through the room for the fifth time this morning pulling me from my thoughts. I glance out the door of my office and see her talking with Dianna. Her full hips fit snug into a skirt that has my mind racing with thoughts it shouldn’t have about an employee. Shaking my head, I push back in my chair and try once again to focus on the proofs for tomorrow’s paper in my hands.

  One week. One week and somehow she has managed to bury herself into my every thought. She’s always there. On the walk home, at dinner, at breakfast… in the damn shower. Fuck, I can’t shake her from my mind. The damn scared expression on her face the day I came barreling into her life and the way she took my breath away with one look into her eyes has been the end of me ever since.

  But if I thought that was all it took to suddenly arouse feelings I haven’t felt in years, working next to her, day in and day out, is enough to push me over the top. I try my best to play the boss, although my thoughts are pulled away to places they shouldn’t be because I understand all too well the fucked-up mess she is dealing with at home when I should know nothing of the sorts.

  It is hard to maintain an employee/boss relationship once you have seen behind closed doors, and damn it I did that before she ever walked into this office and threw the rest of my world off its fucking tilt. I find myself reading the same sentence for the third time in a row as rage boils inside. How am I ever going to focus when she is all that I see? Damn it!

  Pushing up and out of my chair, I storm across the room to the office door and stand there for a moment as I watch her. The way she flings her hair over her shoulder. The way she puts her hand on her hip. The way I look up and see her tongue circle her full lips. Fucking hell, I am going to have to fire myself for the thoughts that image just provoked.

  “Ms. Gables!” I shout, a little too harshly. She jumps, and I feel my insides stir at the startled expression she gives me when she meets my eye.

  “Yes, Sir… I mean Mr. Gatz. Can I help you?”

  Can she help me! Fuck yes she can help me! But not in any way that is healthy for either of us. And definitely in a way that would have us both breaking many company policies.

  “Can I see you in my office?” I manage to say. She gives Dianna a slight smile, straightens her sweater which pulls down and around her more than ample breasts and starts to make her way towards me. Shit, what I wouldn’t do to have my hands wrapped around her like that tight sweater. The thought makes my dick stir and I have to look away to regather my thoughts.

  She enters my office and it is only then that I realize I really have no fucking clue why I called her in here. A momentary lack of judgment I guess, not being able to deal with the damn pull just her voice alone has on me. She lowers herself gracefully into the chair in front of my desk as I catch the slight scent of her perfume. God she’s addictive. I could breathe her in for hours and still not be high enough from the aphrodisiac she is to me.

  Closing the door, I round my desk and pull at my tie, loosening it because hell if it isn’t suddenly hot in here. I look over at her blue eyes and feel my heart rate tick up a few notches. Grabbing my water bottle, I take a drink as I sit acros
s from her and buy time trying to think of what to say next.

  “Did I do something wrong,” she asks in her thick southern drawl, and God help me because it’s one huge fucking turn on. “Mr. Gatz, if I did something wrong, I swear I didn’t know what I was doing. I can fix it I promise.” She’s scared. Nervous. I see fear behind her eyes and know exactly where it is building from. But like an idiot, I sit across from her and don’t respond. Because I have nothing. She’s stolen my ability to form even one damn sentence in her presence, and that has never happened to me before. Not once!

  “Please, Sir,” she whispers. “I need this job. My babies…” she trails off and leaves me with a wrench wedged in my heart.

  The two little kids I met briefly don’t deserve to grow up without a father, let alone live where they do and stay daily in that shit hole of a daycare she is forced to put them in. She thinks no one knows, but what kind of journalist would I be if I didn’t check up on my employees when they have to leave early twice their first week on the job.

  Ok, I fucking followed her to make sure she was safe. I couldn’t help myself after what I witnessed the first morning we met.

  It broke my heart seeing what she was forced to do as a parent, let alone a mother with no one to help her. That alone is still a mystery to me. Why doesn’t she have any family? Although, I am not sure what is worse, watching her feed her kids from the dollar menu while she didn’t eat, or witnessing her break down a few hours later from across the street after she tucked her kids in bed.

  She holds her head in her hands and I swear I hear her whisper, “Stop it.” But her voice is so low and to be honest I am more focused on the way her body has suddenly began to tremble.

  “Ms. Gables,” I say, finally finding my voice. “Rose. No nothing is wrong.” Her face bolts up out of her hands and she stares at me blankly as a lonely tear falls. “How are you doing?” Her brows gather in a confused expression as she quickly wipes the tear away. “I know we have been dancing around the elephant in the room since day one, but I wanted to make sure you are OK?”

  “I’m sorry, I don’t understand?” She asks confused.

  “Listen, I’m not going to beat around the bush, so I will just come out and say it. Do you need help?” She pushes back a little in her seat looking offended.

  “Excuse me?” She asks sharply.

  “I can help. I mean, I can try. I don’t know much about… Well, what I am trying to say is if you need an advance on your paycheck or if you need to talk…”

  “If I need to talk to someone? I am not crazy Mr. Gatz!” She says outraged.

  “That is not what I was saying.”

  “Then what were you saying?” She asks harshly. I stare back at her blankly because hell, to be honest, I don’t know what the hell I am saying. I just needed her in here with me. I needed to be alone with her. I wanted to have her all to myself.

  Why? I don’t know. To make sure she is eating. To make sure she didn’t cry herself to sleep again last night. To make sure her kids are ok when I shouldn’t even give a shit about her or them, but I fucking do!

  “I just wanted you to know,” I sigh, “That if you need anything, you can talk to me. I would like to help.”

  “I don’t need help!” She says angrily.

  “Then what do you need?” I plead with her, not wanting to end this conversation on a bad note and not entirely sure how the hell we got here to begin with. Oh yeah, her laugh. Her fucking perfect laugh and the way it makes me lose my damn train of thought when I should be focused on crime, breaking news, feature stories I could give a rat’s ass about instead of the sound of her voice.

  “What I need,” she begins, “You can’t give me what I need!”

  I push back in my seat and glare at her with a smile. “Are you sure about that?” I tease, which earns me a sharp intake of breath. I didn’t intend for that comment to come out as sexual, but shit, I know we both can’t deny the chemistry floating in the air between us every damn time we are together.

  Her eyes dart up to the bookcase behind me and I see recognition flash in her eyes and know when she sees it. My own folded flag next to a picture of my mother and father. Both of them gone now and nothing but a dark memory I have no desire to open up about, ever. Her eyes glance to the left and fall on my own picture. The one I took after I graduated the academy. My dog tags hang over them I watch her eyes as they slowly read the name engraved on them.

  “I didn’t know you served?” She asks. More of a statement than a question, but at least she is not storming out of my office like I feared she would be a few moments ago.

  “You never bothered to ask.” Her eyes keep trained on the trinkets of my past. The darkness that I’d rather not remember, but still they are the symbols I let linger around me as a pressing memory to never forget either. “More than just yourself have stories to tell. And more than just you alone lost someone close to them, Ms. Gables.”

  Her eyes flash with fury as she meets my stare. “I never thought otherwise, Mr. Gatz.” She says coldly as she rises from her seat. “Are we done here?”

  She starts to walk towards the door and I know I have to stop her. I know I need to keep her here with me just a little bit longer, if only to drown in her and what she does to me for as long as I can.

  “Ms. Gables.” I shout, which makes her stop with her hand on the doorknob. Rising out of my seat, I take my wallet from my pocket and make my way over to her. She never turns to look at me and I thank God there are no windows in my office so no one else can see how close we stand. Taking a few hundreds out, I pull her back towards me and hold her against my frame. Her breathing stills, and I know I am crossing a line, but God help me because hell if I can’t help myself around her.

  With my arm wrapped tightly around her waist, I force my other hand into hers and close her fingers tightly over the bills. “I don’t need you to save me.” She blurts out.

  Nestling my mouth near her ear, I get lost as I stare at the rise and fall of her chest. The quickness at which her breath is coming takes me by surprise and matches my own as I hold her still. I’ve never been so bold. Never crossed a line with an employee, but what she does to me isn’t fair and a man only has so much fucking restraint. Her back straightens and her fine ass pushes up against my groin almost instinctively, like we both can’t fight the urge, the impulse, the craving to give into one another when we are together. I close my eyes and pray to God she doesn’t feel my length starting to harden.

  “I’m no savior, Rose.” I growl. “Take it. Use it. Get your kids out of that sick excuse for a daycare. Eat a fucking real meal. Take the rest of the damn afternoon off and for the love of God, don’t wear this skirt again unless you want me to fully fucking forget you’re my employee. Understood!”

  She says nothing. I can feel her heart beating in her chest. Feel her heated breath as she turns to look at me over her shoulder. “Yes, Sir.” She glares at me, as she pries my hand off her waist and pushes her ass hard against my crotch making me finally back away from her.

  She’s pissed, but fuck it, I don’t care. I know she needs it. And hell, I just need to help her.

  She goes to pull the door open and walk out of my office, but not before catching me off guard as she flings her hair over her shoulder, glances back at me and winks. Well shit, looks like it’s another night of cold showers and no sleep. But I could care less, because realizing she just might feel the same way about me, that I feel about her, was totally fucking worth it.

  Chapter 4

  Rose

  The sound of Liam making Olivia laugh warms my heart as it floats in from the living room. I smile as I rotate the plate in my hand under the warm water and feel at peace. Complete. Whole. If only for a moment.

  Looking up, I glance out the window above the sink and watch as the tree’s leaves blow about in the wind. What’s left on the branches struggle to hang on as the pile on the grass scatters in circles the stronger the breeze blows. Michael used to lov
e the fall.

  “Sweatshirt and beanie weather, Rose! Gotta love it!”

  His voice rings through the kitchen and invades my thoughts. Almost as if he is here himself. I feel my heartache and stop washing the dish in my hand. Placing it in the sink, I brace my palms tightly on the counter and count to three.

  One. Two…

  Ruined. Spoiled. Robbed. Your last fall was spent fighting. You took away his last chance at what he loved most, all because you were too selfish thinking about yourself and wanting to have another baby.

  I shake my head and close my eyes tight as the memories come flooding back.

  *****

  “Give it time, Rosie! God knows better about these things than we do. We’ll have another baby again. Besides, the best part is trying. Huh, sweetheart? Come here and let’s…”

  “You don’t get it Michael. You never get it! You’re leaving. Soon! We don’t have time. Not when you will be gone for almost over a year, and when you return, Liam will be…”

  “Don’t worry about that, just come here and let me hold you, Rose!”

  “Stop it! Stop trying to change the subject. I need this baby, Michael. I need what you can’t obviously give me after eight months of trying…”

  *****

  Tears stream down my face as hatred for myself boils up inside. I hold in my breath until my lungs hurt before glancing back up again and looking out the window.

  God, how I fucked up. I ruined everything. Our last few months. Our final goodbye. All because I was too selfish to think he might not be here tomorrow and we needed to enjoy every moment together we could.

  Now it is too late, and we will never get the chance.